What does the voice in your head sound like? Many of us can be quite tough on ourselves believing it is necessary to grow, improve or execute our lengthy to do lists. The more self-inflicted, self-criticism we endure the lower our self-esteem goes, the more anxious and depressed we feel.

In culture today there is an unwritten message that being hard on yourself is the price you have to pay to get things done and meet those often impossible expectations, standards and ideals we hold for ourselves. You may even resist the self-compassion approach because you see it as “soft” or because you think it may lead to becoming passive or unmotivated.

But, self-compassion creates confidence, because you learn to face failures or disappointments with acceptance and kindness for yourself. You can then choose effective and skillful actions.

Tame you inner critic by making friends with the voice inside of your head. Realize that beating yourself up is of no benefit to your growth and instead say “thank you, I know you are only trying to help, I’ve got this.”

Realize that you are not alone, everyone experiences struggle, hard times, job loss, etc. All of this is part of being human!

Deepen your self-awareness and pay attention to the language you use to talk to yourself. Would you talk to someone else the way you speak to yourself? You can shift and relate to the voice inside of your head.