The first thing your mother’s doctor did after you were born was place your tiny, brand new body on your mother’s chest, and through the first few days of your life one of your parents’ many jobs was to take turns taking off their shirts to hold you. This practice is casually called “kangaroo care,” making it sound silly but it’s serious business. Touch is how we let newborn babies know that we love them, and numerous studies have been done on how skin contact as an infant develops serotonin and oxytocin pathways in us, helping us form healthy bonds and develop trust in others as adults. Being touched, by this metric, is literally how we learn to love each other and experience joy on a chemical level.
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It’s hard to know how to introduce someone whose presence is so enormous, and whose personality so casually evades description, but I’ll give it my best shot. Mary is a woman whose energy can only be described as a mighty wind. She never just walks into a room, she always bursts in, eyes wide with wonder, somehow yelling and whispering at the same time. She projects a very active peace, so the air around her hums with a subtle calming, electricity. Being around Mary can feel overwhelming at first, but I would say that’s because many of us are not accustomed to being around people who consider vitality to be a lifestyle. She arrives with her clients in this spirit, so buckle up and enjoy it. All is well, and so it is.
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Years ago, I heard someone say that the reason life feels like it happens without you noticing is because there aren’t as many major events in the lives of adults as there are in our childhood. Time seemed to move slower when we were in elementary school because each day we learned something new, or tried something for the first time. Big moments, even if they seem small in retrospect, marked the passage of time and serve as a sort of metric for how long ago that actually was.
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Last Thursday I greeted my last client of the night and left her to some privacy to get cozy on the table. Everything was the same as it ever was, but when I came back in the room something seemed off. Then I noticed with a tiny prick of sadness that the light filtering in the sides of the blackout shades on the windows of my room was already starting to fade at a very young 7 pm. It doesn’t seem like we got much of a summer at all, and with dismay I noted that it’s already almost over. Seeing the sun begin to set so much earlier than it had been since we reopened made me realize how much time has passed while I busied myself with trying to make sense of such a terrible and strange year. Presence is a verb, indeed.
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At this point in the year I’m sure all of us have canceled at least one big plan. But not only are we all lamenting the big canceled plans- weddings and graduation parties come to mind first- but also the little ones. A summer void of casual girls nights, staying out late with your partner, and hitting happy hour with your coworkers after finishing a big project are the little losses that add up. It may feel like your social life is dying a death by a thousand cuts, but the silver lining here is that there is most certainly something you can do about it.
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